What to Do when Feeling Depressed

Introduction

If you’re feeling low, overwhelmed, or weighed down by a persistent sadness, please know this: you are not alone. Many people—regardless of personality, background, or life situation—experience periods of depression. It can feel isolating and heavy, like you’re stuck in a fog with no clear way out. But there is hope, and healing is possible. This article gently explores what depression is, how it shows up in our thoughts, emotions, bodies, and behaviors, and most importantly, what small, compassionate steps you can take to begin feeling better. Whether it’s through movement, meaningful activities, quiet reflection, or simply reaching out to another person, each action—no matter how small—is a powerful step toward light and connection. You don’t have to face this alone, and you deserve support, understanding, and care.

Clinical Major Depression

Although you might feel alone in your struggle against depression, the reality is that many people of every type of personality – extroverts and introverts – experience depressive moods from time to time. In fact, very few people do not go through periods of low mood where something is not quite right. However, in clinical practice, the term “Major Depression” differs from everyday ‘down’ periods in three main ways. Major Depression is more intense. It lasts longer (two weeks or more). It significantly interferes with effective day-to-day functioning. It is estimated that 1 in every 4 people experience “Major Depression” at some time in their life.

In mild to moderate forms of “Major Depression”, individuals may not feel bad all day but still describe a dismal outlook and a sense of gloom. Their mood may lift with a positive experience, but fail again with even a minor disappointment. In severe depression, a low mood could persist throughout the day. It may be worse in the morning and relatively better in the afternoon. This is called ‘diurnal variation’ which often accompanies a more severe type of depression.

Different factors make it more likely to happen, our biological make-up, our upbringing, or our reaction to life events. What keeps it going though, is how we deal with those things. Depression is expressed in four different ways – through our thoughts; through our feelings; in body sensations and reactions; and finally in our behaviours.

Thoughts

People who are depressed tend to think very negatively about themselves, the future and the world around them. It can be like seeing life through “gloomy specs”. They dwell on how bad they feel, how the world is full of difficulties, how hopeless the future seems and how things might never get better. People who are depressed often have a sense of guilt, blaming themselves for everything, including the fact that they think negatively. Often their self –confidence and self-esteem become very low.

Their typical negative thoughts include: “Everything is hopeless - nothing can change” “It's all my fault.” “The world is a terrible place - everything goes wrong” They can dwell on these thoughts repeatedly, mulling over things, asking ourselves why, thinking regretful things about the past, what I should or shouldn't have done.

Underneath these negative thoughts, are deeper negative self-beliefs or core beliefs? “I'm useless, worthless” “I am not good enough” “I am not loveable” “I am not in control”. These deeper self –beliefs drive and maintain the negative thoughts. They are often formed very early in life in our reaction to negative things that happened to us. With self-reflection and counselling, we can come to identify core self-beliefs that lie underneath our depressive moods.

Feelings

The core of depression is the low mood or feeling that descends and stays with us like a dark dank gloomy cloud. It seems at times to pin us down into a deep dark hole where we feel there is no escape. Along with this low mood, depression is often accompanied by other feelings such as sadness, disappointment, guilt, shame, frustration, anger and anxiety.

Body Sensations and Physical Reactions

In his book “The Body Keeps the Score”, Bassel van der Kolk outlines how our bodies store and hold feelings and thoughts. The depressive thoughts and feelings that drive our low moods are expressed in our bodies through certain sensations and physical conditions. Sensations might include tightness, fuzziness, heavy or light sensations, high or down sensations, cold and hot sensations. Negative physical conditions that accompany depression include: Slumped down beat posture; Tiredness, fatigue, lethargy; Difficulty concentrating or remembering; Sleep changes (sleep more or less); Eating changes (eat more or less) and Losing interest in hobbies, activities or sex.

Behaviours

When we’re feeling depressed, we tend to stop doing the things we used to do and enjoy. It could get so bad that we can't even go to work, or do things at home. We want to stay in bed, or stay at home doing very little. We might isolate ourselves from friends and family. We may feel shy and anxious when with other people, especially in a group. We may feel lonely and isolated, yet at the same time, are unwilling or unable to reach out to others.

Breaking the cycle: Physical Exercise, Interests and Hobbies

A lack of activity is often a key factor in maintaining our depressive moods. Increasing our exercise levels can make an enormous impact on our depressed mood. Exercise uses up the adrenaline resources created by the depressive feelings and thoughts and stimulates the body to produce natural anti-depressants. With exercise, we sleep better and begin to feel less tired. It stimulates out appetite. We think more clearly. All in all making us healthier and happier. Keep your exercise goals realistic – set achievable limits. For example: aim to walk for 10/15 minutes 3 times a week then slowly give more time to it.

Once you’re back up with more exercise, start some activities which give you a sense of achievement, enjoyment and brings you close to others. Choose activities, interests and hobbies which are important to you, have positive meanings, or are purposeful, and you might want to plan rest periods too. Again don’t set yourself up to fail! Start with just 10/15 minutes a day on some enjoyable activity. Then slowly build up your activity over time according to how you are enjoying it. The sense of enjoyment is key.

Self-Reflection

Once some regular pattern of exercise and interests have been established, you might have enough courage to do some self-awareness work in order to understand the deeper roots of your depression. Finding a good counsellor who you can trust and feel comfortable with is an important first step. It is well-nigh impossible for us for do self-awareness work alone. “The Johari Window” reveals that we have blind spots that others know about but that we are blind to. Beyond our blind spots there are the deeper depths of our psyche and unconscious that can only be accessed with self-awareness work. Journaling is a good practice to accompany counselling sessions helping us to deepen and continue the reflective process started in the counselling session. It helps to make us better prepared for the next counselling session. Setting aside some time to be quite and reflect, pray and be mindful is another good self- awareness tool. (See my blog “Mindfulness”).

Reach Out

We are born to love and be loved. Reach out. Be with others. Aim to have a chat with someone every day. Give a gift to everyone you meet even if it is only a simple greeting (it’s maybe simple but so good for you and the one you greet!!). Help someone. Go to a pub, a restaurant, a sports game, a show.

Conclusion

Depression may feel overwhelming and all-consuming, but it is not insurmountable. By understanding the ways it affects our thoughts, feelings, bodies, and behaviours, we can begin to take small but powerful steps toward healing. Incorporating gentle routines like regular exercise, enjoyable activities, self-reflection, and meaningful connection with others can slowly break the cycle. Recovery doesn’t happen overnight, but with patience, compassion for yourself, and support from those around you, a lighter, more hopeful future is possible. You are not alone, and even the smallest step forward is a step in the right direction.