Healing Trauma

Introduction

Trauma can touch anyone, often leaving us feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or stuck in pain we can’t explain. If you’ve experienced something deeply distressing—whether recently or long ago—know that your reactions are valid, and you’re not alone. This blog is here to gently guide you through understanding what trauma is, how it may be affecting you, and most importantly, how healing is possible. With compassion and care, we’ll explore practical steps you can take toward recovery and rediscovering a sense of safety, connection, and hope. Furthermore, the practical steps outlined here are a good accompaniment to have if you undergoing counselling and therapy for trauma.

What is psychological trauma?

Psychological Trauma is “the state of severe fright that we experience when we are confronted with a sudden, unexpected potentially life-threatening event over which we have no control and to which we are unable to respond effectively no matter how hard we try.”   It is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Traumatic experiences often involve a threat to life or safety, but any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and isolated can be traumatic, even if it doesn’t involve physical harm.

It’s not the objective facts that determine whether an event is traumatic, but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more frightened and helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized. After a traumatic event, some people become upset and avoid thinking about the distress. Their brains have not been able to process and file the memory away as completed and over. The experience stays as a current problem and threat instead of becoming a memory of a past event. Then certain triggers, particularly reminders of the event, trick their brains into thinking the event is happening again, right now, and they re-experience all the feelings and sensations, flashbacks and bodily reactions as though it really was happening right now. That is very distressing, so they do their utmost to stop the flashbacks, and avoid any further reminder of the event, so the event remains un-processed.

Traumatic symptoms are not caused by the ''triggering'' event itself. They stem from the frozen residue of energy caused by the traumatic event that has not been resolved and discharged. This residue remains trapped in the nervous system where it can wreak havoc on our bodies and spirits. The imprint of the traumatic events held in the body can be seen in the emotions that are still experienced, in the sensations that are activated and in the patterns of fight/flight/freeze that are acted out.

Types of Trauma

·       Pre/perinatal trauma: It is in the intimate relational space of marriage/close relationship that our earliest attachment vulnerabilities get triggered. Because these early attachment patterns develop before we have language it can be very difficult for us to be conscious of them. When they get triggered we can quickly regress to a very threatened space. What complicates things further is that very often when our vulnerabilities get triggered, the strategies we have developed to feel safe tend to trigger our partners vulnerabilities.

·       Developmental trauma: The victims of childhood abuse perpetrated by significant others but also caused by factors such as growing up in a poor crime-ridden area or battling a life-threatening illness in childhood. When childhood trauma is not resolved, a sense of fear and helplessness carries over into adulthood, setting the stage for further trauma maybe leading to complex trauma.

·       Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) brought on by a one-time event such as an accident, injury, natural disaster, violent attack, the sudden death of a loved one or a relationship breakup. Only a small percentage of people who have a traumatic or difficult life experience go on to develop PTSD. In most cases difficult life experiences are processed to resolution using the person’s existing internal and external resources. PTSC is been resolved when we think about the trauma, talk about it, dream about it, do something about it as well as when e engage in activities to help release its impact from our bodies particularly in exercise.

·       Complex PTSD refer to the impact of sustained developmental trauma experienced during childhood. It has the avoidance and hyperarousal symptoms of PTSD plus affect dysregulation, negative self-concept and interpersonal disturbances. The effects of complex PTSD may be significant factors in the development of a Borderline Personality Disorder or a Dissociative Disorder.

·       Vicarious Trauma is the experience of absorbing others' trauma so deeply that it affects your own well-being. Those in the caring professions who are regularly exposed to the traumatic stories and experiences of others can sometimes develop symptoms like bystander guilt, shame or feelings of self-doubt.

·       Inter-generational trauma refers to the apparent transmission of trauma between generations of a family. People who experienced adverse childhood experiences growing up, or who survived historical disasters or traumas, may pass the effects of those traumas on to their children or grandchildren, through their genes and/or their behavior particularly if they have not been healed from their traumas.

·       Cultural trauma occurs when members of a community feel they have been subjected to a horrendous event or ongoing discrimination and racism that leaves indelible marks upon their group consciousness, marking their memories forever and changing their future identity in fundamental and irrevocable ways for example nations that have been colonised.

Symptoms

We all react in different ways to trauma, experiencing a wide range of physical and emotional reactions. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to think, feel, or respond, so don’t judge your own reactions or those of other people. Your responses are normal reactions to abnormal events.

Emotional & Psychological Symptoms include shock, denial, or disbelief; Confusion, difficulty concentrating; Anger, irritability, mood swings; Anxiety and fear; Guilt, shame, self-blame; Withdrawing from others; Feeling sad or hopeless or feeling disconnected or numb.

Physical Symptoms include Insomnia or nightmares; Fatigue; Being startled easily; Difficulty concentrating; Racing heartbeat; Edginess and agitation; Aches and pains and Muscle tension

Trauma symptoms typically last from a few days to a few months, gradually fading as you process the unsettling event. But even when you’re feeling better, you may be troubled from time to time by painful memories or emotions—especially in response to triggers such as an anniversary of the event or something that reminds you of the trauma.

Whether or not a traumatic event involves death, survivors must cope with the loss, at least temporarily, of their sense of safety. The natural reaction to this loss is grief. Like people who have lost a loved one, trauma survivors go through a grieving process. You'll find this easier to cope with if you turn to others for support and take care of yourself.

Trauma Recovery Tips

1: Get moving

Trauma disrupts your body’s natural equilibrium, freezing you in a state of hyperarousal and fear. In essence, your nervous system gets “stuck.” As well as burning off adrenaline and releasing endorphins, exercise and movement can actually help your nervous system become “unstuck.”

Try to exercise for 30 minutes or more on most days—or if it’s easier, three 10-minute spurts of exercise per day are just as good. Exercise that is rhythmic and engages both your arms and legs—such as walking, running, swimming, basketball, or even dancing—works best. Instead of focusing on your thoughts or distracting yourself while you exercise, really focus on your body and how it feels as you move. Notice the sensation of your feet hitting the ground, for example, or the rhythm of your breathing, or the feeling of wind on your skin. Rock climbing, boxing, weight training, or martial arts can make this easier—after all, you need to focus on your body movements during these activities in order to avoid injury.

Tip 2: Don't isolate

Following a trauma, you may want to withdraw from others, but isolation only makes things worse. Connecting to others face to face will help you heal, so make an effort to maintain your relationships and avoid spending too much time alone. You don’t have to talk about the trauma. Connecting with others doesn’t have to mean talking about the trauma. In fact, for some people, that can just make things worse. Comfort comes from feeling engaged and accepted by others.

Ask for support. While you don’t have to talk about the trauma itself, it is important you have someone to share your feelings with face to face, someone who will listen attentively without judging you. Turn to a trusted family member, friend, counsellor, or clergy.

Participate in social activities, even if you don’t feel like it. Do “normal” things with other people, things that have nothing to do with the traumatic experience. If you’ve retreated from relationships that were once important to you, make the effort to reconnect. If you live alone or far from family and friends, it’s important to reach out and make new friends. Take a class or join a club to meet people with similar interests, or reach out to neighbours or work colleagues. As well as helping others, volunteering can be a great way to challenge the sense of helplessness that often accompanies trauma. Remind yourself of your strengths and reclaim your sense of power by helping others.

If connecting to others is difficult Many people who have experienced trauma feel disconnected, withdrawn and find it difficult to connect with other people. If that describes you, there are some things you can do before you next sit down with a friend.

Exercise or move. Jump up and down, swing your arms and legs, or just flail around. Your head will feel clearer and you’ll find it easier to connect. Vocal toning: As strange as it sounds, vocal toning is a great way to open up to social engagement. Sit straight and simply make “mmmm” sounds. Change the pitch and volume until you experience a pleasant vibration in your face.

Tip 3: Self-regulate your nervous system

No matter how agitated, anxious, or out of control you feel, it’s important to know that you can change your arousal system and calm yourself. Not only will it help relieve your anxiety but it will also engender a greater sense of control.

Mindful breathing. If you are feeling disoriented, confused, or upset, a quick way to calm yourself is through mindful breathing. Take a few breaths deep into the stomach in the following manner:

1.         Firstly, close your mouth and breathe through your nose aiming to experience the sensation of not just your chest but your whole torso down to your guts expanding with your breath for about 3 or 4 seconds

2.         Then consciously control your breathing by holding your breath and your expanded torso for 3 or 4 seconds and

3.         Finally let your breath exhale for about 4 or 5 seconds or a second or two longer than you inhale as you notice your torso slowly deflating.

Staying grounded. To feel in the present and more grounded, sit on a chair. Feel your feet on the ground and your back against the chair. Look around you and pick six objects that have red or blue in them. Notice how your breathing gets deeper and calmer.

Sensory input. Does a specific sight, smell or taste quickly make you feel calm? Or maybe petting an animal or listening to music works to quickly soothe you? Everyone responds to sensory input a little differently, so experiment to find what works best for you. A good sensory exercise to bring calm is the “5 Senses” exercise. Whether you are sitting inside or out and about give your full attention to:  5 things you see; 4 things you hear; 3 things you sense in your body; 2 things you smell and 1 things you taste now in your month.

Body Awareness. With a traumatic experience, we carry not only the memory and feelings connected with it, but we "remember" it physically as well. It is expressed through a contraction of muscle or of tissue or a loss of freely flowing energy in an area of our body that is in someway connected with that event for us. Connections may be very symbolic. Perhaps we struggle with someone who is a real pain in the neck and we find that our neck becomes tight. Our language is full of phrases which point to how we embody our experiences. Here are some examples ‘butterflies in my stomach’, ‘all tied up in knots’  ‘heartache’, ‘broken hearted’, ‘that’s a weight off my shoulders’ and ‘weak in the knees (fear)’.

The body tells the truth. By focusing on sensations and tensions inner wisdom can come to the surface. Get in touch with what you are ‘holding on to’. Where? What are the qualities of the sensation - constriction, tingling, heaviness or lightness, hot or cold, fuzziness, numbness, stuckness, tension, hyperactivity, restlessness, digestive problems, pain or fatigue? Has it a colour, an image, a shape, a flow – which direction? Does it have a centre point, an edge, does it spread? When you experience that sensation what is happening in the rest of your body? What is it like to stay there for a while?

The mere conscious awareness of  negative sensations often helps to start taking the edge off them. If you focus and concentrate even more on the sensations, often the sensations will change relaxing you even further. When given this due loving mindful attention and left to its own devices, the body will tend to self-regulate and heal.

Tip 4: Take care of your health

It's true: having a healthy body can increase your ability to cope with the stress of trauma.

Get plenty of sleep. After a traumatic experience, worry or fear may disturb your sleep patterns. But a lack of quality sleep can exacerbate your trauma symptoms and make it harder to maintain your emotional balance. Go to sleep and get up at the same time each day and aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.

Avoid alcohol and drugs. Their use can worsen your trauma symptoms and increase feelings of depression, anxiety, and isolation.

Eat a well-balanced diet. Eating small, well-balanced meals throughout the day will help you keep your energy up and minimize mood swings. Avoid sugary and fried foods and eat plenty of omega-3 fats—such as salmon, walnuts, soybeans, and flaxseeds—to give your mood a boost.

Reduce stress. Schedule time for activities that bring you joy such as favourite hobbies. Mindfulness, meditation and yoga are great to foster greater calm and equilibrium. They focus on the practise of being present, aware and alive to bodily experiences. They emphasise the need for continuous practise and perseverance -a central component for bringing about change and healing.

Conclusion

Healing from trauma is a deeply personal journey that takes time, patience, and compassion. While the effects of trauma can be overwhelming, they are not permanent. By embracing supportive practices—such as movement, connection, mindfulness, and self-care—you can begin to reclaim your sense of safety, resilience, and well-being. Beyond these practices, many will need counselling and therapy to fully heal. Remember, this healing is possible, and you don’t have to go through it alone.